We all want to live a happy and fulfilling life. But for some reason, some of us always feel like there is ‘something’ standing in the way of their happiness. Do you recognize this? Do you also feel like there is something holding you back? Well, this might not be the answer you would like to hear but there is a big chance that the obstacle might be YOU. Yes, we can be our own obstacles in life, and we can hold ourselves back. In such a situation, we unconsciously fight against our own desires.
The reason for this can be out of fear, insecurity, doubts, limited beliefs or false ideas,…all caused by one grumpy enemy, the inner-critic. That little smug inside your head, who is constantly talking you down. Together with all the outside influences who’ve been there throughout your whole life, they are the reason you’ve absorbed your limited beliefs and false interpretations in the first place. These are unconscious thoughts and beliefs that you picked up through life experiences that happened in your past. Just to be clear, in this blog, I am talking about the negative limited beliefs or fears that are trying to stop you from going any further. But even though, that inner-critic can make you feel unhappy, still, that inner-critic, whether you like it or not, is a part of you. A part that you need to learn to control better in order to stop your self-blocking. Because by just accepting the reaction of your inner-critic and the limited beliefs, you are constantly working against your own chance on happiness. You are working against self-love, self-acceptance and your self-worth. This blocking behavior is like throwing a pile of stones into a river and blocking its natural flow. Like this pile of stones, your inner-critic and your acceptance in this, are blocking your natural flow of being.
In one way we can block ourselves by DOING and in the other way we block ourselves by SAYING. If we talk about SAYING, then I mean the words and phrases that we use daily. The power of words is often underrated and therefore frequently used in a bad and destructive way. Most of the times, we aren’t even aware of how much effect our words have on our overall behavior. But our words can definitely influence our personal growth, happiness, and success level! The more you talk in a negative way, the more you will create a negative outcome. You attract what you send out. So the more negative energy you send into this world, the more negative energy you will attract on your path.
So for that being said, here are a few phrases you should really try to avoid in life!
It is not only a phrase with a very negative undertone, but it is also a phrase that sounds like saying ‘I won’t do it’. It gives other people a feeling of you being unmotivated and not willing to put any effort into it at all. Besides that, always saying ‘I can’t’ will activate the self-fulfilling prophecy. What I mean by this is that the more you say it, the more chance you’ll have, that you’ll make it your own reality.
If you are constantly thinking about the opinions of others then you will never be able to pursue a happy life. Because you can never BE or DO good in the eyes of everyone. It is better to focus on doing good for yourself first because then eventually you will attract the right persons into your life. The law of attraction. These are the people who will accept you for who you are, totally in your authentic and unique state of being. Because you should never change for anyone, always remember that. You are perfect just the way you are.
Sometimes you can say it in a laughing way, sometimes you do mean it when you say it. But no matter how you are saying it, the more you say it, the more you will start to believe it. And the more you start to believe it, the more you will live like it. So if you don’t want it to be true, then stop saying it to yourself.
If you are in a circle of self-pity then you need to stop seeing yourself as the victim in your life. Because you can’t control the situations, people or circumstances around you but you CAN change how you react to them. If you are always talking in a negative way about your situation then you will keep on attracting negative vibes. But if you start to take your own responsibility in becoming happy, that’s when you can break out of that circle.
Are you one of those ‘fixers’ who wants to change someone for the best? You aren’t alone in this. There are a lot of people out there who would love to see some changes on another soul. But how bad you even want this to happen, this is totally something out of your control. In fact, it’s better that way. Every person has the right to be themselves for a 100 %. But if you feel like you could help someone out and make their life better, then don’t hesitate to tell them. Afterward, it’s totally up to them, if they take it or leave it. Don’t push yourself up to someone who doesn’t want to change. Because, in the end, it will be a waste of your positive energy and happiness.
This is a very common and much-used reaction on the question ‘How are you?’
It is a phrase that is often used because of habit and that’s why it’s not always seen as a negative influence. But saying that you are busy all the time, is a constant reminder to all the MUST that you have written on your physical or mental to-do list. This can cause stress and pressure. Besides that, it’s scientifically proven that having a lot going on in your life does make people happier. So why should you give it such a negative undertone? It’s better to say, I’m productive.
Are you someone who says ‘YES’ to everything? Even when you don’t feel like it? Then it’s definitely time to become more assertive. Stop saying YES to all the things you want to say NO to. Just say NO for once! Challenge yourself! It will make you feel relieved, stronger and much more happy in the end.
Just like number 1, repeatedly saying this will activate the self-fulfilling prophecy.
You are turning ‘It’s impossible’ into your own created reality. Even when it can be possible!
Would you ever say this to someone you love? That would be rude, don’t you think? So, why would you say it to yourself? The fact that you are saying this to yourself, THAT is what you don’t deserve. You don’t deserve it to be talked to like that. Also, the more you keep on saying this to yourself, the more you will make others to believe the same. This will make them run all over you. Don’t let this happen.
If you are telling yourself, ‘it’s too late’, then you will make yourself believe it in the end.
The power of your words are so strong, that the more you say it, the more it becomes your own created reality. So for that being said, it’s never too late if you keep on believing.
Do you wake up every morning, looking at yourself in the mirror with a disapproving face? Are you always telling yourself how ugly you feel, how bad your hair looks, how hideous your clothes are? Stop doing this immediately! You are not only making yourself sad, but you are also making yourself insecure. You are a unique being just like everyone. You are a beautiful and authentic person who doesn’t need to change a bit! Learn to accept yourself, your looks, your body, and your being. Self-love and self-acceptance can really change your world perspective and mood.
If you are constantly doubting yourself and looking at the ‘What if’s’ in life, then you will always keep on living in the past. The reason you have chosen another path is that it had to be like this. Even when you would change your choice afterward, your previous choice will always have its influence on your outcome. Because, if you wouldn’t have chosen it in the first place, then you might have never known what you really wanted in the end. Life is all about making choices, learning life lessons, and a constant personal growth.
Are you that person who constantly waives a nice compliment away? Does this sound familiar for you? Really, you shouldn’t do that for two reasons. The first reason being; You do deserve that compliment! Accept it and own it! Be proud of who you are. You are worthy of those beautiful words. The second reason being; Waiving a compliment away is like saying, ‘Hey, I’m totally uncomfortable in my own skin and I don’t like myself at all!’
body, nose, ears, hair,… Self-criticism is a very common behavior. Sometimes you can say it so much, that it becomes an automatism. But try to be more sweet to yourself. Your body should be your temple. Your body allows you to live on this planet. Your body allows you to see, hear, smell, taste and enjoy life. Your body deserves to be loved and so does every piece of you.
Love & Joy