Being calm and peaceful within myself, WAW seriously, this was something that I really struggled with a lot back in the days! Learning to accept that being alone and doing nothing is totally OK, that was quite hard for me, I have to admit that. Because, in the past, every second that I was doing nothing felt so wasted and lost to me. From the moment that I felt alone, I searched for a way to flee. I wanted to avoid being alone with just me and my thoughts. It felt uncomfortable. Besides that, I was scared of being seen as a loner, boring, asocial or an introvert person. Really, in that time, I put too much worth into other peoples opinions about me. I was constantly searching for validation. I wanted to be good for everyone. I wanted the impossible. But, in the end, I didn’t even really know how it felt to be ME anymore. I lost contact with myself and I fell under the spell of the society perfection standards. The kind of perfection, that honestly, doesn’t even exist at all. It’s all made up in our heads.
~ Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life! ~
As I grew older, I realized that I had to stop doing this, that exaggerated hassle in which I was constantly challenging myself into looking as perfect as possible. It’s not only exhausting, but it is also an impossible game to play. If I would look back on those days and compare them with where I stand right now, I would not even recognize myself. Because the last two years, in my path of self-growth, mindfulness, and self-love, I learned to let go of those limited beliefs. I learned that silence is my friend and being alone is a gift. Now I embrace those moments. In those moments, I feel most close to myself. It’s not uncomfortable anymore. In those moments, I can hear my inner voice and listen to the sound of my life energy. I learned that being alone is important, so important that it can change your life for the better. It’s not changing you, it makes you become the best version of yourself. My life is changing day by day. I feel more powerful and happy than ever before. And I know that I will grow even more in the future. Because that is what self-love and silence do, it makes you more aware, wiser, stronger and more secure. It makes you appreciate every single bone in your entire body.
I’m sure that this sounds recognizable to many of you. Definitely now, in a time where the pressure is put so high and the expectations even higher. Nowadays, perfection is highly valued and it’s something that many strive for. And being alone and introvert is often not seen as the ‘perfect’ image. Even though perfection is totally unreachable because of the many different views on perfection. It is still so wanted and desired. In other words, it is an image, a vision, something that is not “there”, impossible and elusive. It’s an invisible attraction. The most wanted mystery. No one has it, but everyone wants it. You are not alone in this. But still, when you would realizing the positive effects of being alone, it will make the high expectations fade like a mist in the air.
Yes, you can ‘change’. And no, this doesn’t happen overnight. But before I go even further I just wanted to point out that I don’t see this as a CHANGE at all. It’s you becoming more yourself. It was in the past that you were changed because of the influences and expectations. But now, when you decide to become more aware, silent and you take more time for yourself, that is when your previous changes will start to fade. That is when your cocoon starts to break. You are ready to slowly blossom into the beautiful butterfly that you already are deep inside. Spread those wings, you beautiful soul. And really, even your so-called ‘imperfections’ have their positive side, sometimes you just have to discover them, explore them. Your imperfections make you unique. And being unique is a wonderful way to be. Just let go… let go of those limited beliefs. And the best way to learn this, is in those moments of being alone.
The perfect way to find that inner peace and to become more comfortable on your own is to make sure that you are aware of yourself. Knowing where your limits are and know what is right for you. This can be found, in those alone times where you are satisfied with doing nothing, thinking nothing, just being in the here and now.
Note to yourself:
You are enough.
You have enough.
You do enough.
Breath extra deep, let go …
Live right here, right now.
First of all, I wanted to say that this is a process, a process that differs for each and every one of us. It’s a process that everyone will experience differently, and which will happen by trial and error. Accepting this is important.
1) Go into nature more often:
Go sit on a bench outside or just lay down in the grass. Start to look in front of you (or close your eyes) while enjoying the sounds, smells, images, … around you. Focus only at that moment. Be totally aware and open up to the details of your present. You can also try walking in the grass on bare feet. This can have a tremendously blissful and soothing effect.
2) Chew your food more slowly:
Reflect on what you eat, how it tastes, the texture and how you experience it, this has a positive effect on your metabolism as well as on your mental rest. I call it the practice of Mindfood. Don’t have any expectations and let go of any other thought for a moment. Silence your mind.
3) Go meditate or do yoga
Yoga and meditation can create a peaceful and relaxed mind. It calms down your mind, body, and soul. It helps you to make space for your own inner voice in times of silence.
4) Be creative
Create art, drawings, lyrics,… whatever you are passioned about. Create with no expectations or musts. Just DO. Let your brain become comfortable with his natural flow. Let it know that it’s OK to open up for new experiences. Let it know that it’s OK to share its deepest unconscious desires. Be alone with just you and your creative mind.
5) Enjoy some quiet music
Get inside a room with candles and incense. Play some relaxing music. I guarantee you that you will fall into a peaceful state of being, very blissful.
6) Eat foods that nourish your body
A well-nourished body is more capable of getting into a relaxed and peaceful state. Food doesn’t only affect your body-health, it also has a positive effect on your mental health. Those who feel good and healthy inside their body and mind are often more comfortable with being on their own.
7) Lay down or just sit without a feeling of guilt
In a chair, sofa or even in your bed, without any intention, just experiencing the moment, being happy that you are able to do that.
8) Practice gratitude daily
Do some gratitude practice on a daily basis. Tell yourself 3 things that you like about yourself or your life, every day. It will help you to appreciate life more and to be more comfortable within yourself.
Do you notice, with the tips above, on how you should always focus on the ‘here and now’?. A lot of the times, people are completely drowning in their worries about the past and their fears for the future. This can cause enormous stress. The best way to regain your inner peace is to bring the thoughts back to the present, without regretting what was and without any expectations of what is yet to come. Just experiencing the moments and celebrating being here. That is something you gain in those moments of silence.
Love & Joy