If you feel like your relationship isn’t going the way it should? Are you concerned about your own well-being, happiness or even safety? Then there is a chance that you’ve might be ended up in a toxic relationship. And as this is an unhealthy situation to stay in, you should really become aware of its signs. Time to re-evaluate your relation, time to set the final conclusion. Never settle for a relationship that makes you unhappy or that is based on any disrespectful reasons. In this blog, I want to share with you some important signs that could give an indication that you actually are in a toxic relationship. Always be honest to yourself! So, if you feel like too many signs are present, then maybe it’s time to let him/her go. This isn’t a selfish step! This is a step out of self-love.
A lot of the times, a toxic relationship isn’t always that visible at first. Actually, often they start pretty well because you are mainly focussed on the good things. Or at least, it feels like it’s all perfect and fine. Mostly blinded by love. You should not blame yourself here, as this is a very natural en very common mistake. It’s the goodness within yourself that is misleading you. This can make you oversee certain important early signs. Signs that are there from the beginning and that can warn you for a possible unhealthy relationship.
The longer the relationship lasts, the more clear it often becomes. But even then, it can still be difficult to admit that you have fallen into the trap of an unhealthy relationship. Because the longer you hold on to such a relationship, the more attached you become to that person and the less you are willing to believe that they would hurt you. This makes it even more difficult to see what really is happening right in front of you.
But whether it’s an unhealthy relationship because of a miss match, or because of threatening behavior, there is no reason why you should hold on to this.
I will divide these signs into three different sections: ‘If your partner’, ‘If you feel’, and ‘If your environment’. In all those three sections you can notice the early signs.
When you are in a loving relationship, there should be mutual interest in each other. Honest and real interest. Because if you love someone, you wouldn’t want anything more then to see your loved one happy. And really, what’s more beautiful to make someone happy then to sincerely listen to them. By showing them that you are there for them and that you want to get to know them on any level. So, if you notice that your partner shows no interest in your life and he/she is only focussing on him/herself, then this could be a strong sign of him/her not caring enough about you. So, this is certainly not a healthy base of a good relationship!
He/she may not mean it wrong but if you feel like you are constantly pulled into bad actions that may get you into trouble, then this is a sign of a lack of concern about your safety. And with bad actions, I really mean dangerous, highly irresponsible actions. No small, unimportant actions. I mean actions that if you love someone very deeply, you wouldn’t dare to pull them into it.
A bit of jealousy in a relationship should not be a problem. Everyone can get a little jealous in a healthy way. A healthy jealousy is just a sign that they care about you deeply. But watch out if it gets too bad. Exaggerated jealousy isn’t in any way a proper behavior in a relationship. As exaggerated jealousy usually stems from possessiveness rather than out of love. It’s a NO GO. Don’t ever accept this as this could only make it worse!
Not much to discuss. Any signs of misplaced aggression? Get the hell out! You don’t deserve this in any way! No one does. And there is no such thing as a good reason why you should accept this!
And here I mean, not in a sweet caring way but in a self-centered way. If you often catch your partner on lying over the smallest things, then you should be careful. There is nothing wrong with a little white lie to protect someone’s feelings. But if you feel like it’s only to keep themselves safe, again and again, then these lies often become bigger and of greater influence over time. It’s a bad selfish habit and not out of love or caring.
If he/she gives you any signs of being narcissistic. Acting like the ‘all greater’ man or woman. Then there is no way in life that he will ever care as much about you as he cares about himself. Don’t feel less because of this! It says more about his insecurity then it says about your value. Because you, you are a beautiful and valuable soul!
If you feel like your partner shows you no respect, then this is no relationship based on love. You deserve a partner who respects you in any part of your being. Love is all about respect! Always remember that!
Loving someone is letting someone be open, honest and free at any time. If you feel like a possession in your relationship then your partner does not see you as an equal. He doesn’t respect your value. Love is all about respecting each other in their value.
If you feel like you can’t get any height over your partner, and it feels like he has several faces, then it’s code RED. In a relationship, you should feel safe and comfortable with your partner. He should feel familiar to you and in no way a stranger. Dating two-faced people can become tricky and unhealthy in many ways.
If he tries to get it his way by manipulating you all the time, then this isn’t ok at all. Manipulating another person shows in no way any signs of respect. It is selfish behavior and is not loving at all.
There is nothing wrong with positive criticism. But when it becomes daily and about every part of your authentic self, then there is something wrong. Being in a relationship should not mean that you need to change yourself completely to please the other. True love is loving each other with all flaws
Is he/she a drug, alcohol, sex,… addict, then this might cause problems. Unless he/she is taking own actions to stop the addiction. If it’s not out of own will, it’s not stable and secure. Be aware of what you are getting into.
Your intuïtion may not always be completely correct. But most of the time it is. Certainly when it comes to your safety. When someone gives you a bad feeling from the beginning, then there is probably something wrong in the underlying energy. A mismatch? A threatening vibe? …
In a relationship, you should always be able to be yourself. If not, then this isn’t the best match for you. What’s a loving relationship without the possibility of staying your authentic self? Who is he/she loving then?
If you feel like you can’t live up to your full potential and you can’t follow your most wanted dreams, then this will not keep you satisfied in the end. Don’t let anyone stop you from pursuing your goals.
You are far more worth than this. Don’t settle for this!
No further discussion. If you feel like you are in danger. Get out as fast as you can! Don’t hesitate about this feeling as it’s not there for fun. If you feel anxious, then he/she probably gave you a reason for it.
If you always feel unhappy and unsatisfied in your relationship no matter how hard you work on it, then you might not be a good fit after all.
Do you feel like you are getting more unhappy and insecure since you are dating? Then it’s maybe because he/she is talking you down in some way. Or maybe you just feel an overall negative vibe all the time. Not healthy at all.
In a relationship, you should never feel the need to prove yourself. Your partner should accept and love you for the beautiful and authentic person that you are.
With this section, you shouldn’t jump into conclusions immediately. Sometimes this can be a sign but sometimes it can be a misplaced perspective. But always listen carefully to the concerns of your loved ones as they will not tell you for no reason. If it’s totally misjudged, then you can try to calm them down.
Maybe your environment feels bad vibes with your relationship. Vibes that you may not have noticed in the beginning. Or maybe they just misjudged the whole situation. This can be out of love and concerns. They probably just want what’s best for you!
If you constantly hear your family and friends say that they worry about you, then there must be a reason for that. Do you look less happy? Do you look anxious, tired, hurt? If not. Ask them why they feel so concerned.
Maybe your friends and family noticed some weird behavior of your partner that you may not have noticed yet. Maybe it’s misplaced, maybe it’s correct. There is nothing wrong with listening to their concerns. But don’t just blindly believe everything that someone says. Always listen to your own intuïtion as well.
If your family or friends feel like you look less happy since you’re dating, then it’s more then normal that they will ask questions. Are you really happy in this relationship?
Love & Joy